Tuesday, December 14, 2010

A little blah! :-)

Is there a need for feelings, an emotional attachment, a belonging, to such an extent that they swirl you like the tangling of a creeper and suffocate you to death?

Sometimes you feel, 'why should this happen to me? Why me?' In times of distress, when you feel a congestion, a push in your throat muting you, asphyxiating you, you are desperate for someone, a spirit to whom you can share all your happiness, troubles, excitements, miseries, sorrow and alacrity. When you do not or are not able to find that person, you go insane. For some, to have found that person and to lose them forever is something inexplicable. The pain is incurable for LIFE. 

Well, we all should know or rather understand that 'nobody is indispensable'. Life goes on and on and on.. The journey being arduous, not only tires us, but also exasperates us and to say that for some it is mostly a bed of roses here, would be a complete oxymoron! Coming to the point, it would be a very brazen presumption to say that a life sans difficulty is, in other words, non-existent!

Gosh! I know I have been very vague from the beginning till now! Mm.. Life is VAGUE for some!

Secondly, you do not have to feel obligated to anyone in life, let alone yourself! When we work, we work for our own good. Our own life. Nobody will help us earn... Grr.. Every single soul on planet earth has to fend for itself, right from the earth worm in an agricultural farm to the elephants found in the jungle, or man, being a social animal, a social slave!

Right, point taken, all of us are slaves to our own selves. But we need not have to feel obliged to anything or to anyone! Take  things as they go by. Facing issues itself will solve the problem! We should not even think of running away from the inimical puzzles - the intricacies of melancholy, joy, fervour, the surging anger and the searing pain, that life offers us. It comes on a platter to everyone and is plain unrefusable!

Swat! :-)

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Goldman -- Sachs or Backs?? Part 2

Hi everyone!

Today was a very gloomy day at home, not only because of the weather but due to the fact that I bunked college! The steady sharp bell pins from the clouds, mired our roads, making them impossible to even walk, let alone drive the stretch! I decided to stay indoors and enjoy the warmth of my bed sheet!Ah, what comfort it gave!

After a sumptuous breakfast, I read the newspaper and dozed off to glory, imagining my position in Goldman Sachs and the corporate environ that I would be living once there! My dreams were squashed flat when I opened my eyes to notice my mobile phone flickering with alerts of missed calls and text messages. I flipped it open and found a series of the usual teenage texts along with hurrays and yippees from many like me who had taken an off! It was one thirty in the afternoon. I lunched with my lone-self and went through the newspapers again. My boredom urged me to text my friends to find out 'College Happenings'. 

It had been not more than a minute after my text to the friend when I received a reply saying 'Goldman Sachs, results out. You are not in'. That is all! Oh God! I was devoid of all the blithe that I was filled with, this morning!  Well, life is so full of ups and downs. We have to take things in its stride and travel the arduous journey that lies ahead! There is a lot to experience in the expedition of life!

-- Swathi

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Goldman -- Sachs or Backs?? Part 1

 Presentation - November 16th, 2010, 11.00 a.m

The first thing that pops into my head (these days!) when someone says 'interview' is Goldman Sachs! Well, to be honest, I did not really know the existence of such a company till the day they came to our college for a presentation. I was just an other student sitting in the jam-packed auditorium, sighing for every single utterance of the presenter Sebastian and the others. My ears picked up and I became very attentive only during the part where they mentioned about examination dates and further interview rounds after which I was back to normal! As I was squirming in my seat, looking forward for their long awaited departure, I noticed a college senior with the Goldman Sachs crew. When I queried my neighbour about the senior, I came to know a lot about her, which gave me enough confidence to apply for the internship. Hail Senior!

Entrance Examination - November 26th, 2010, 8.30 a.m.

I was startled from my deep slumber by my mom's loud voice which said 'Swathi, it is 6.30 and you are still not out of the bed'. My usual reply annoyed her, so I quietly got off and made my bed. I brushed my teeth in a very slow pace. Why? Yes, I was preoccupied, my thoughts were somewhere, well, and Goldman Sachs was all I could think of! My preoccupation drove me crazy and in turn, sluggish.

I readied myself and looked at the watch to confirm my early departure to college, but horror struck me when I realized that my Titan showed me 7.55 am. I was baffled to the extent that it took me ages to come to reality! I shoved my breakfast into a box, begged my mom to have it and bid it a happy good-bye. Now, no breakfast! Goldman, I’m coming! Wait! I strode past the mired roads to reach the bus stand and to my utter disappointment found not a single mode of transport to reach ‘Destination College’!

While I was busily contemplating over the amount that I could pay for an auto, there came a 25G, (ah, my saviour!) Mm...Goldman urged me to get into the bus and without a second thought I did so. All hopes of reaching college were pound into powder yet again, when I became conscious of time. My Loyal Titan displayed 8.35 am and I was still FIVE long kilometers away from college. Good Gracious! What do I do? My sixth sense suggested me to text a friend at college to find what was happening, but it only increased my anxiety and trepidation because she told me that the exam had already begun!

I was almost on the verge of crying. In the midst of all the mayhem, the bus broke down on the bridge, adding fuel to the already burning pyre in me. I checked my watch yet again, reluctant to accept the fact that I had missed my entrance exam. It showed 9.20 am and I was TWO kilometers away from college. I did not want to give up. I depended on the Almighty this time and began rigorously praying, for I remained optimistic. I was desperate to be in the hall, to see the question paper, to write the exam. 

I had to take another bus to reach college which meant I was completely behind schedule. Yet, I did not want to give up. I thought of ways and means of getting into the exam hall explaining my situation while in the bus. Finally, I reached ‘Destination College’ by 9.40.

Something in me, directed me to go the auditorium and nowhere else. I entered the auditorium and could do nothing but thank Lord Almighty! My happiness knew no bounds when I found the GS crew instructing the candidates about filling the main sheet, the first page! I could feel my Titan showing a 9.42 a.m. and winking at me simultaneously! The exam began at 9.45 a.m. Just in the nick of time!

The exam was quite easy except for the Math part, where it took a long time to figure out the right answers. There were about 300 of us who appeared for the exam and I was not very sure of my selection though I was confident of my performance in areas other than math. The exam concluded at 10.50a.m. And we were asked to take a break of one hour and return by noon, for they planned to evaluate our performance in the meanwhile.

They asked us to be ready with our résumés, just in case we get selected. I did not want to bother much about it as I was very unsure of my selection. We were back by noon and waited for the results to be declared. I was anxious but I preferred not to express it out!

 While scores (it seemed to me) of names were being called out, I was only happy I at least got to write the exam! Now, most of my friends names were called out and I started fretting. When I looked up to see how many were there, I saw just a bunch of papers left, with names to be called out and I was filled with angst. After what seemed like eons, there came my name! The first thing that struck my mind appalled me, for the voice in me said that I had been lucky enough to appear for the exam, considering the trauma I underwent this morning!

From about the 300 hundred of us who wrote the exam, only 120 of us were selected to appear for the personal interview. My turn came around 4 in the evening and went on for ten solid minutes! As of now, I am waiting for a final reply from them, to know whether I have been selected to get into the next round or not! Fingers-crossed! :-) 


Friday, November 19, 2010

Sense of accomplishment!

I am an extremely frank, out- going, friendly, happy- go-lucky eighteen year old girl with no regrets in life. My latest fascination is car driving and I consider even sitting in the driver’s seat an extremely exciting proposition! I realized my full potential to concentrate on something the very first day I started learning how to drive a car. My first class was how to start and stop the vehicle without too much friction. After a series of ten such classes, which of course involved putting my patience to test and,when my driving school thought I had learnt enough to appear for a driving test, I was allowed to apply for the license!

The day before my license test, I dreamt of a head-on collision with a lorry of all things on the road which made me practice harder and exhibit composure on the D-day! When I reached the place where I was to be tested did I realize that I had been dreaming way too much of hitting vehicles on the road as it was a huge ground where I thought we would be asked to drive! There were ten of us from our driving school, four of us being women.  The previous nights’ jitters returned whilst I learnt we would be asked to drive on the main road! Not Again!

I sought the help of the Almighty this time to steer clear of all the problems and doubts that assailed me. While I was deep in thought, rather, deep in prayer, I faintly heard my name being called. Ah! It was MY turn!

As I was sitting inside the car, I observed the inspector, clad in khakhi pant and white shirt - grim faced, waiting to become an obstacle on my path to accomplishing the glorious license. After a left turn, he asked “what are u studying”? My meek reply was this:  “I have finished my first year in journalism”. After a brief exhibition of the same serious reaction, he said “oh, I thought you have completed your graduation in aeronautical engineering, because you seem to be flying on the road.” I gave a silly smile after which a short left turn appeared making him order “Stop!” I brought the vehicle to a halt immediately. (Mainly out of sheer fear for his sudden and unexpected command!!) Though I was still caught off guard at the thought of how loud a person’s voice can get (it is louder in an AC car as the windows are shut!), the small conversation helped me come out of the nervousness I was undergoing a short while ago. Now, that a few days have passed, I feel exceedingly excited and proud to declare that I finally managed to get my driving license after all, which means I can keep myself away from all this tension for the next twenty solid years!